Miss Me Yet?

Don't fret, LOTD will return in a few days. I'm having too much fun doing nothing. Namaste, bitchez!

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Idea Of The Day

My latest book is the perfect gift for anyone left on your list. Available now at bookstores everywhere. From Amazon.com: "Back by pop...

WTF?! Christmas Decorations Of The Day

You suck at teh Christmas. CATEGORY 1: WHY BOTHER? CATEGORY 2: YOU MISSED A SPOT "Up on the housetop, what on earth?Sounds like Mary...

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Children's Guillotine

best of craigslist > lawrence > Children's guillotine   Date: 2009-10-13, 6:55PM CDT Looking to get rid of this children's siz...

Trampoline Dog Of The Day

Try to watch this without smiling. Link from Josh Lewis.

Best AutoCorrects Of 2012

Real or not, these crack me up. From Suzanne and Buzzfeed. More here.

The 50 Best Breasts In Movie History (NSFW)

The top 50 boobs (25 women, duh) in movie history, according to GQ. If you're expecting the usual roundup of ladies--Phoebe, Jamie Lee, ...

News: Woman Gets New Stem-Cell Wrinkle Treatment, Grows Extra Bones In Eyes

Ah yes, the obsession with youth goes horribly awry once again. "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could tha...

Animals With Fraudulent College Degrees (Of The Day)

From Wikipedia. "Animals have been submitted as applicants to suspected diploma mills and, on occasion, admitted and granted a degree,...

Two-Legged Horse Of The Day

Don't worry, he'll get there eventually. Thanks for the link, Liz.

The Top 25 Computer Passwords Of 2012

Here's a good one: DUMBASS. From Gawker. The 25 Most Popular Passwords of 2012 by Casey Chan Oct. 23, 2012 Though I had hoped that we,...

Santa Fails Of The Day

Santa: they're doing him wrong. Or right, depending on how you look at it.

Baseball Card Vandalism Of The Day

These kill me. So clever. From the Tumblr blog. More here.

News Of The Day: Christmas Mandolins

From The Onion. Thanks for the link, Amy Carey. Mumford And Sons Can't Believe They All Got Each Other Mandolins For Christmas LONDON—Ac...

Horrible Things That Must End In 2012

I'm not a huge fan of these "things that need to go away because I don't like them" lists, but I found myself agreeing wit...

Talking Cow Of The Day

Sort of. I can't watching this and laughing. Thanks, Liz.

Photo Of The Day: MF

I laughed. Thanks, Supreme Ant Bee.

America's Kitschiest Roadside Attractions Of The Day

A great piece from Travel+Leisure, except for the baffling exclusion of Rock City. MITCHELL CORN PALACE (Mitchell, SD) Established in 1892 a...

Best Worst Foreign Titles For American Films (Of The Day)

I like these. There's a certain economy and complete lack of BS that makes them endearing. Title pictures from NextMovie.com. Pretty Wo...

Disturbing Face Swaps Of The Day (2012 Edition)

Disturbingly amusing, or vice versa. From Buzzfeed. Nicolas Minaj More here.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Artist Needed

best of craigslist > hawaii > Artist needed. Must love owls. Date: 2012-09-03, 6:08PM HST Imagine yourself driving through...

Creative Movie Dialogue Edits Of The Day

Bad edits of swear words. Further proof that some movies just don't belong on network TV. CASINO Original: “Fuck me? Fuck me? You mother...

Helpful Chart Of The Day: Two Paths

Coquettery. From the French word coq, which means penis. Coquettery = dickery. Coq au vin = dick wine.

Movie Poster Quiz Of The Day: 2000s

I've posted several of these Stephen Wildish movie posters before before. Hell, I might have even posted this one. Getting old sucks.  C...

News: Stylish Illegal Monkey Found Roaming Toronto Ikea

What? He needed a new BORGSJÖ cabinet. Thanks for the link, Kate. Via The Globe And Mail. Stylish but illegal monkey found roaming Toronto...

Very Bad Elves On The Shelves (Of The Day)

Ever wonder what these creepy little bastards do when you're not watching? Neither do I, but I like these photos. Pics from Cyndi, Chris...

Useful New Internet Error Messages Of The Day

From McSweeney's Internet Tendency.  Useful New Internet Error Messages by Rupinder Gill55.1.2 CONNECTION REFUSED: Sorry, this message c...

Things Nobody Would Ever Say (Of The Day)

From Rachel G. and 9gag.

Commentary Of The Day: It's Funny, I've Actually Only Been To New Jersey A Couple Of Times by Bruce Springsteen

From The Onion. It's Funny, I've Actually Only Been To New Jersey A Couple Of Times by Bruce Springsteen When you think of Bruce Spr...

Car Window Decals Of The Day

Some inspired, some ridiculous. I'll let you decide which is which.

Vid Of The Day: Yeah

A reply to yesterday's talking cat. Thanks, Danielle Stephens.

Weekly World News Covers Of The Day

God I miss this rag. I subscribed for years. They still have a website but stopped publishing in print in 2007.

Unfortunate Christmas Music Video Of The Day

I know it's a little early for Christmas crap but this one is making the rounds. I post it because misery loves company. I'll admit ...

News: Hardee's Introduces Shame Curtains For Customers To Eat Behind

From The Onion. Hardee's Introduces Shame Curtains For Customers To Eat Behind ST. LOUIS—In response to extensive market research, fast ...

Crosseyed Celebs Of The Day

So simple. So stupid. So naturally I laughed. From Mandatory (in case you missed their name on every photo). A couple of these aren't Ph...

News: Man Stabs Guy Who Ate His Thanksgiving Leftovers

I'm thinking this is about more than turkey. From The Smoking Gun. Man Stabbed Victim Who Ate Turkey Leftovers NOVEMBER 30--An Indian...

November Motivational Poster Roundup

I guess this makes me a motivational blogger.

Talented Animal Of The Day

Cat says no. Why? Because "I hate you" was too much work.

15 People Who Are Having A Worse Day Than You

A lot of these are from Buzzfeed. Others I found on my own, because I'm resourceful like that.

Study: Everyone, Everything Linked To Paranoia

I knew it! From The Onion. BALTIMORE—According to a study published Tuesday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, researchers at Johns Hop...

November "Found Porn" Roundup

Thanks, Anastasia, T-Nova, Mark W., Prairie Girl, Rachael P., Rachel H., Chris, Amy, and Rich Girl Red for this month's bounty.

Worthless Dog Of The Day (video)

You little bitch. Turn in your dog card.

6 Old Wives' Tales That Are Actually True (Of The Day)

From Mental Floss. Animals know when danger is coming Before and after any given major unforeseen disaster, you’ll hear anecdotes from peop...

Amusing Warning Signs Of The Day

Maybe it's better just to stay at home.Bison hate the Honda ElementAnd cowsA fate worse than being shot.My favorite

Cool Poster Of The Day: Acme

I want one! It's a Kickstarter project from artist Rob Loukotka. Click the pic for more info (or to buy one). From Kickstarter: "My...

Facebook "Oops" Of The Day

I hope there's more underneath her. Pic from Julie.

Obnoxious Driver's Public Humiliation (Of The Day)

What a maroon. She got off easy. I would have made her wear a dunce hat, too. From Joe S.

If Videogame Characters Had Facebook Pages (Of The Day)

From artist Andrew Golden. Click for readable view. More here.

Local News Weirdo Of The Day: Vacuum Cleaner Man

She's not gonna lie to you. Thanks, Jody Love.

Last Supper Parodies Of The Day

Creative blasphemy from people we'll meet in Hell. Most of these are worth a click for the larger view. Look, it's our old pal, the ...

Animals With Sh*t Stuck On Their Heads (Of The Day)

No animals were harmed for this post. Okay, I don't know that for sure, but pretend it's true. "Where's my other sock, damm...

Asked and Answered: Billboards Of The Day

Making it rain with your college fund, little girl, that's where. Thanks, Chris Carey.

Clichéd Band Name Buzzwords And What They Really Mean

From Flavorwire. "BEAR" What it’s supposed to mean: “We are slightly cuddly and lovable New Age guys, but we are also manly and co...

News: Grandson Has Long Hair

From The Onion. Grandson Has Long Hair   "Like a Girl—He Has Girl Hair," Says GrandfatherROCKFORD, IL—Despite ostensibly being a b...

Still on vacation. Sort of.

LOTD will return in full force tomorrow, kids. Thanks for your patience.

Radio Newscast Fail Of The Day

Or win. Depends on how you look at it. The show went on. From RadioFail. Click the pic to listen.

Then And Now: Your Childhood Crushes Grown Up

Yours, not mine. Mine are all grandmas or dead. I wish I were kidding. From Buzzfeed. Carmen (Alexa Vega) - Spy Kids Topanga (Danielle Fis...

Clever Idea Of The Day: Public Stress Relief Station

From Laughing Squid: Street artist fra.biancoshock installed an ingenious antistress station in a Milan bus shelter consisting of bubble wra...

Turkey Cakes That Totally Look Like Penises (Of The Day)

From Jody Love. What's better than a one-eyed trouser snake? A two-eyed trouser turkey! Medical fact: over time, small penises will deve...

Possessed Small Appliance Of The Day: Devil Toaster

From Gawker and Liz Thayer. 28 Years Ago, The Today Show Aired the Greatest Interview in Television History If you've been sitting ar...

News Of The Day: Popeye's Home Boiglerized

From The Onion. Popeye's Home BoiglerizedSWEETHAVEN VILLAGE—According to a report filed with the Sweethaven Police Department, the priva...

Hilariously Careless Product Sticker Placements Of The Day

From Happy Place.

Photos Of The Day: Kids Are Actually The Worst

I saw a George Carlin stand-up on HBO years ago and he said something along these lines: "Everybody says 'What about the kids?...

GIF Of The Day

I wish it had sound.

News: ABC Newscast Misnames Petraus Book With Hilarious Photoshopped Vulgarity

Thanks for the laugh, Bill Stancill. Story from Mediaite. Denver ABC Station Misnames Paula Broadwell’s Petraeus Book: All Up In My Snatch  ...

Fictional Characters Whose Names You Don't Know (Of The Day)

A great list from Mental Floss. You know the characters, but you might not know their full names. Store these away for future trivia nights....

Naughty Snowmen Of The Day (NSFW)

It's that time of year again. An updated LOTD classic.

News: Shitload of Math Due Monday

From The Onion. OLD BRIDGE, NJ—In what many are calling a complete bullshit move, Riverside High School algebra teacher Mrs. Trella, 34, as...

Rodent Fail Of The Day (video)

I'm hearing Ratt right now. Thanks, Bianca, for the link.

Thank You, Veterans

Thank you, veterans and active military. We acknowledge and honor your brave service.

The World's Greatest Animal Actor (vid)

... is the hamster at :26. The guinea pig at the end isn't bad, either. The dog at 2:05 gets the Ham Award for overacting.

21 Reasons Why Bros Need To Stay Off Instagram

#forreal. From Buzzfeed. #crewlengthsocks #yabrah #tuesdays #tightride #brofessional #ilooksick #gametime #handleit #brofule #getsome #poppi...

Phenom Of The Day (vid)

Check out RB Sam Gordon who racked up 35 TDs and nearly 2,000 yards from scrimmage last season. Sam is nine, and she's a girl. Watch her...

News: Mexican Smugglers Fail

From The Smoking Gun. Jeep Driven By Suspected Smugglers Gets Stuck Atop U.S.-Mexico Border Fence A harebrained attempt by suspected smuggl...

Photos Of The Day: F**k Da Police!

Giving rules the middle finger. Link from Rachael.

Instructions of The Day: How To Do Anything

Valuable info here for some of life's most challenging problems from the brilliant minds at WikiHow.  How To Make Small Breasts Look...

Vid Of The Day: Family

My mom loved Three Dog Night and had all their records. I grew up on them. This song always gets lost in the shuffle between "One"...

Frightening Justin Bieber Fan Art Of The Day

As if his music weren't bad enough.

Poorly Placed Ads Of The Day, Vol. 2

I love these more than I probably should. Those of you with delicate sensibilities might be offended by some of these, but then, those of yo...

Prank Of The Day: I Ate All Your Halloween Candy (video)

A bit long (5 min) but you don't have to watch the whole thing to get your yuks. .

Bar Bands Of The 70s (Of The Day)

Captions unnecessary. From ilxor.com. (Lots more here)

October Motivational Poster Roundup

These motivate me to laugh.

News: Mood In Car Takes Grim Turn After Dad Misses Exit

It's funny because it's true. From The Onion. Mood In Car Takes Grim Turn After Dad Misses Exit LYNNVILLE, IN—The atmosphere inside ...

News: Drunk Lawyer Gets Stuck In Garbage Chute Trying To Get Into Own Apartment

Lindsey Lohan meets Augustus Gloop. From Complex.com. Thanks for the link, Amy Carey.   Drunk NYC Lawyer Nearly Loses Arm After Locking Hers...

October "Found Porn" Roundup

One of our best months all year for found filth, thanks to Leisa, Mark, Cyndi, Terri, Chris, Rachel H., Cam, Rachael P., Glenda, Amanda, Dan...

News: Mom Called To Make Sure You're Not Under That Dangling Crane

She worries, you know. From The Onion. Mom Just Called To Make Sure You're Not Under That Dangling Crane BOISE, ID—Calling to check ...

Best Disney-Star Wars Merger Memes Of The Day

You might have heard that Disney bought out Lucasfilm yesterday. Naturally, the intranetz are all a-titter with clever people making clever ...

News: Police Break Up Cat Party

Late breaking news from the Reykjavik Grapevine. Shit's getting real in Iceland. Police Break Up Cat Party Police in Suðurnes were, fo...

Commercial Of The Day: Mom

This is my life in a nutshell. But the kid always tells, anyway. A born snitch.

11 Celebrity Memoir Flops Of The Day

From The Daily Beast: "Turns out, readers consider Arnold Schwarzenegger’s memoir Total Recall expendable. Despite an aggressive pub...

Animated GIF Of The Day

Again. Because I want you to watch it some more. I wish this thing had sound.

Vid Of The Day: Henri 4, L'Haunting

Brilliance. Thanks, Lea-Anne Jackson, for the link.

11 People Who Turned Down Big TV Roles (Of The Day)

Oops. From Mental Floss. PAUL SHAFFER as GEORGE COSTANZA According to Paul Shaffer’s memoir, We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives, Jerry ...

News: I Hope The Guy Who Got Knocked Out By The American Thighs In That Song Is Okay

From The Onion, of course. I Hope The Guy Who Got Knocked Out By The American Thighs In That Song Is Okay  by Janice Weingarten I just he...

News: Fox's New Celebrity Diving Show

I think they should have a different twist every week, like freshwater crocs in the pool or tossing in a toaster just as the celeb hits the ...

Dogs In Star Wars Costumes Of The Day

Pets love costumes. Just look at their faces. From BestWeekEver. Lots more at BestWeekEver.

Halloween Prank Of The Day: Sneeze

I've sneezed that hard before. . .

Meme Of The Day: Business Cat

From Know Your Meme: "Business Cat is a LOLcat image macro series with an Advice Dog spinoff / Memegenerator starburst background. The ...

Quotes From The Delivery Room (Of The Day)

Tales from doctors, midwives, husbands and other people who were there. From this thread on Reddit. My wife during labor: "THIS FUCKER ...

Congratulatory Responses For Various Occasions Of The Day

Another fine set of animated gifs from Lizzer. From Twisted Sifter: "When a citizen of the Internet goes above and beyond, a heartfelt...

Embarrassing Club Photos Of The Day

From the Tumblr blog. . More here.

Nerve's 50 Greatest Female Sex Symbols In Movie History: My Best and Worst Picks

Nerve.com came out last week with a list of the 50 greatest female sex symbols in movie history. Like any list, there are hits and there are...

Halloween Video Of The Day

You knew it was coming. Halloween doesn't start until Jan Terri sings. .

Creepy-Ass Halloween Costumes Of The Day

From Rachel H.Bette Davis guards the pumpkin patchRosemary's baby and his dadWhaddya mean, "not wearing masks"?Walter Matthau,...

Quick Vid of The Day: Collective Soul Cat

Thanks, Crystal H. .

10 Most-Paused Movie Moments Of The Day (NSFW)

From Slashfilm and Elliott Mason.  "A subscription based British movie site called LOVEFiLM (basically a European version of Netflix) t...

Freaky/Cool Jack-O-Lanterns Of The Day

All from Flickr. Cannibal Pumpkin Turtle Pumpkin Darth-O-Lantern Albino Stormtrooper Pumpkin Say "trick or treat" one more time! P...

Vid of The Day: Ricardo Montalban School of Acting

An SCTV classic.

Meme Of The Day: Wrong Lyrics Christina

From KnowYourMeme:   "Wrong Lyrics Christina is an advice animal image macro featuring singer Christina Aguilera with captions of mishe...

Pics Of The Day: Birds With Arms

PHOTOSHOP!WHAT?! I'M HUNGRY!KEYTAR, motherfuckers!More here.

News Of The Day: Florida Governor Gives Phone Sex Number For Meningitis Hotline

"Hello boys, thank you for calling me on my anniversary." From Yahoo News and Jenn Howard. Florida governor gives phone sex number...

Name The Guitarists (Of The Day)

Click pic for larger view. .

Awesome Office Cube Pranks Of The Day

Exercises in passive-aggression because you were on vacation and they weren't. Very funny -- now put it back the way it was, fuckers. ...

Vid Of The Day: Henry Thomas' E.T. Audition

Wow. Now we know why he got the part. .

Unusual Movie End Credits Of The Day

Actual credits from real movies. "Author of A Tale of Two Cities: Charles Dickens" - Airplane! "Worst Boy: Adolf Hitler"...

10 Creepy Abondoned Cities in America (Of The Day)

From Blastr: "Some of these locales have served as creepy backdrops and inspirations for horror films (including Silent Hill), while ot...

News Of The Day: Family Makes Disturbing Discovery on Facebook About Home

BUSTED! From WTVR. Family makes a disturbing discovery on Facebook about their home Oct. 4, 2012 TEGA CAY, SC (WCNC) – A South Carolina ...

Scared People At A Haunted House (Of The Day)

Pics taken at the Nightmare Fear Factory in Niagara Falls, Canada. I wish I knew what they were looking at.   Lots more here.

Creepy Commercial Of The Day

Here's the scariest thing you will see this Halloween. .

Periodic Table Of The Day: Smellements

From Sharing Machine. Link from Molly's Mom. Click for larger view. . .

Clever Pop Culture Halloween Costumes Of The Day

For those of you who still need ideas. From Uproxx. . More here. .

Amusing London Tube Prank Signs

Cheeky monkeys. From this Tumblr blog. . More here. .

Craigslist Ad of the Day: Morrissey Shrine

best of craigslist > portland > Morrissey shrine Date: 2012-09-14, 8:30PM PDT My unemployment benefits ran out and I have to downsiz...

Pathetic Kid Letters Of The Day

From Funny Or Die. . .

Buy My New Book!

Available now. See links below. From Amazon.com: "Back by popular demand, the mind-blowing follow-up to the bestselling 1,001 Facts Tha...

Questionable Tampon Ads Of The Day

Clever or foul? You decide. Some of these have to be fake, like the pool ad that misspelled absorbent, or the hotel room ad, which makes no ...

Cool Classic TV Cars Of The Day

A lineup of famous TV cars. Many of these are from 70s' shows, so you youngun's may not recognize as many as us old folks.A car has...

News Of The Day: Woman Denies Ownership Of Marijuana In Her Genitals

HEY! How'd that get in there?! From Naples News. Deputies: Woman denies ownership of marijuana in genitals, said she was protecting f...

Nostalgic Pics Of The Day: Portland Retro Gaming Expo

Ah, memories of my nerdy youth. Some of this stuff I remember. A lot of it I don't.  From Mental Floss. Lots more photos here. .

News: Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt

From The Onion. Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared ShirtBOSTON—The twigs and acorns ...

WTF Comcast? Vol. 2

I still want this job. From WTF Comcast. See Volume 1 here. .

Things You Do In Your 20s That You'll Regret In Your 40s

Good advice from COED magazine. Great advice, actually. Read it and believe it, younguns. Trust me on this. Old timers: what would you add...

Graceful Cat Of The Day

Ouch. Thanks, Bianca Deacon, for the link. .

DIY Pop Culture Halloween Costumes Of The Day

Now is the time to get crackin' on these, kiddies. From Flavorwire (where you can see more of these if you still need ideas). LIZ LEMON ...

Vid: Mom Of The Year

BAM! That'll teach her to run. .

Unforgettable Movie Nude Scenes Of The Day

"Unforgettable" can be a good or bad thing. From EW.com.SHARON STONE - Basic Instinct (1992)It was the leg-crossing heard 'rou...

News Of The Day: Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth F*cking Over Of Customer

From The Onion. Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer CANTON, OH—Overjoyed Cigna executives celebrated the heal...

Clever Ads Of The Day

I dig these cool ads for Vancouver's Science World museum. From Buzzfeed. (Real gold used on billboard) See more here. .

News: Cops Bust Wannabe Batman. Again.

Superzero. From The Smoking Gun. Man In Batman Costume Busted By Cops. Again. OCTOBER 3--A Michigan man who patrols the streets in a Batma...

Can You Believe They Dated? Unlikely Celeb Couples Of The Day

From Fox, who forgot the most bizarre pairing of all: Oprah Winfrey and Roger Ebert, who dated in the 80s. SCOTT BAIO & LIZA MINNELLI Th...

News: Divers Rescue Inflatable Sex Doll From Black Sea

Officials credit her survival to quick-thinking rescuers who immediately administered several rounds of penis-to-mouth resuscitation. From H...

Amusingly Vandalized Signs Of The Day

An updated LOTD classic. .

Problems That Only Busty Girls Have (Of The Day)

This one's for Cyndi, Rachael, Amy, Cloe, Mecca, Gianna, Emmi and the rest of my boobalicious lady friends. From Buzzfeed: "This on...

Rant: It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherf**kers!

From Colin Nissan and McSweeney's. Another fine link from Rachael P. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fu...

Classic Video Of The Day: Real

So you can understand today's t-shirt (sidebar). I love this guy. He cares, dammit! Shame on that woman for laughing at him. .

Bridezilla's Bitchy Bossy Letter To Her Bridesmaids Of The Day

Someone smite this bitch. I'm serious. Her entitled, narcissistic ass needs to be put down for the bad grammar and spelling alone. From...

News: Hope In Students' Eyes Too Much For Screenwriting Teacher To Handle This Week

From The Onion. Hope In Students' Eyes Too Much For Screenwriting Teacher To Handle This Week LOS ANGELES—Spending his Tuesday office ho...

Meme Of The Day: Bad Joke Eel

This might be my favorite meme ever.

The Weirdest Requests On Craigslist Of The Day

Some of these you have seen on LOTD before. Because we kick ass. From FunnyOrDie. See more here. .

September "Found Porn" Roundup

Many thanks to Mama Gretch, Michelle H., Rachael P., David R., Jody L., Terri R. and Bianca D. for another month of fine finds.

Things We Masturbated To Before We Had Access To Porn (Of The Day)

From The Frisky:  "Before the invention of the world wide web, before we even knew porn existed, you best believe we were masturbating....

Great Moments In Reverse Typecasting Of The Day

And a few that weren't so great. By Chip Carter at Moviefone.  SIR ALEC GUINNESS IN STAR WARS   An Academy and Tony Award winner and re...

Best Movie Death Scene Ever (Of The Day)

Dude takes a licking and keeps on ticking. And screaming. Thanks, Tom and Rachael, for the link. .

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Kid's Bracelet

Likely BS but amusing nonetheless. From Supreme Ant Bee. .

News: Restaurant Shut Down After Roadkill Brought Into Kitchen

The fifth paragraph is my favorite. Thanks for the link, Rachael. Restaurant shut down after roadkill brought into kitchen WILLIAMSBURG, Ky....

Celine Dion GIFs Of The Day

I'll probably get sued for this but I know all of you will chip in for my legal defense, right? Hello? Anyone? And one happy fanboy .

News: Danny Bonaduce Bitten On Face By Fan

Good, the slimy lizard. The woman should be the one worried about catching something, not Bonadouchebag. From US Weekly. Actor Danny Bonaduc...

World's Nuttiest Hangover Remedies Of The Day

I've had some bad hangovers in my day, but never bad enough to eat a feckin' fried canary. Refined Guy. LEMON ARMPITS (Puerto Rico) ...

My All-Time Favorite Onion Story Of The Day

From The Onion. If you're too young to get it, bummer.  Thanks, Amy Carey, for the reminder. Christopher Cross Finally Reaches Mexican B...

September Motivational Poster Roundup

A review of last month's Motivational Posters of the Day (MPOTD). I could have sworn there were more. .

10 Worst Animal Evolutionary Designs

Who says Darwin had no sense of humor?From Siress Yorkie and Wired.SEA MAMMAL BLOWHOLE  Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocea...

Invention Of The Day: Ostrich Pillow

You won't be able to sleep over the laughter. From Chris Carey and MailOnline. That's a new way to catch 40 winks! Bizarre inventi...

Rich Cats Of Instagram (Of The Day)

Another reason to hate them. Not that I do, but this isn't helping. From the blog. More at Rich Cats Of Instagram. .

10 (Alleged) Celebrity Crackheads Of The Day

Crack is whack. Ergo, whack is crack. Half the people on this (2010) list are dead now, so I think we can drop this "alleged" busi...

25 Great Local News Interviewee Descriptions Of The Day

The only reason to watch local news. Thanks for the link, Melanie H.   See the rest here.

News: Man Busted For Curbside Sex With Old Couch

Damn. And I thought I was desperate. At first glance I thought the headline read, "Old Cooch." From The Smoking Gun. Man Busted Fo...

11 Freaky-Ass Burgers Of The Day

Nasty. Just looking at these made my stomach hurt. Or maybe it was the chili dog I had for breakfast. From Neatorama. NUTBURGER For those wh...

News: Egyptian Woman Wishes Screaming Protester Husband Would Go Bonkers For Her Once In A While

From The Onion. Egyptian Woman Wishes Screaming Protester Husband Would Go Bonkers For Her Once In A While CAIRO—Sighing dejectedly Thurs...

Celebs Who Turned Down "Dancing With The Stars" (Of The Day)

Turns out some of them have a little dignity after all.Kinda reminds me of the time I worked in cable TV and we wanted to license the song,...

Spoof Of The Day: The Hunger Games--A Bad Lip Reading

I laughed. Thanks for this, Rich Girl Red.

Report of The Day: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know

From The Onion. Thanks for the link, Emmi. Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know September 19, 2012  STA...

10 Common Sex Dreams And What They Really Mean

I'm not sure I agree with all of these, but then, I'm not a shrink. Neither is the article writer, so take it for what it's wort...

Hilariously Painful Animal Attacks Of The Day

Thinning the herd. Good times in 3...2... The fuck you lookin' at?This one never gets old(click for audio)FUCK OFF!!!DUHHH DUM... DUHHH ...

Pics Of The Day: Smokin' Jay

I'm not sure I totally get it, but it makes me laugh because Cutler is such a whiny jackass. From the blog, Smokin' Jay Cutler. More...

News: 'Okay, Gene, Let's Just Get Through This,' Marketing Executive Beginning Day Tells Self

From The Onion. 'Okay, Gene, Let's Just Get Through This,' Marketing Executive Beginning Day Tells Self NEW YORK—Suppressing all...

10 Of The Most Powerful Female Characters In Fiction

Grrrrrl power! From Flavorwire. JANE EYRE One of the earliest representations of an individualistic, passionate and complex female charac...

Pics Of The Day: Then/Now

I love these kinds of pics. From Buenos Aires photographer Irina Werning. Click any photo for a larger version. More here.

The 10 Ugliest Cars Ever Made

(Another one from deep in the LOTD archives.) From a survey in Business Week magazine, with quotes from people surveyed. CHEVY CHEVETTE ...

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Cat Holder-Downer

best of craigslist > asheville > Cat Holder-Downer Date: 2012-08-09, 11:04AM EDT I'm new to town and need someone to help me...

New Bad Little Children's Books Of The Day

Finally, some I've never seen before. From Bob Staake. Lots more here.

Quiz Of The Day: Ailment Or Florida?

By Mike Zuckerman at McSweeney's. Ailment or Florida? 1. Sepsis 2. Dysthymia 3. Sandalfoot 4. Socrum 5. Nutall Rise 6. Hypoluxo 7. Phosp...

You As Art: Products Of The Day

You would look good on my wall. DNA PORTRAITS Before you get all needle nervous, know that all this print requires is a painless swab of yo...

Love Story In Pictures Of The Day

See, it's not all pratfalls and vagina shirts around here. Thanks for the link, Rachael. See the entire story (in pictures) here. Photos...

WTF T-Shirt Of The Day

I dare you to wear this in public. Thanks (?), Sheri Guyse and Cloe Oliver, for the link. From Dougham.com: "The most beautiful thin...

Ways To Get Past An Awkward Moment (Of The Day)

From Liz. More at Twisted Sifter. .

Awesome TV Captions Of The Day, Vol. 4

From Rich Girl Red. Sources: Mandatory, Smosh, HearingSparks, Winterson. Previous volumes here and here. .

2016 Mindset List: Cultural Touchstones Of Kids Entering College This Year

From Beloit College:  "Each August since 1998, Beloit College has released the Beloit College Mindset List, providing a look at the cul...

Photos Of The Day: 9 Eyes

From The Atlantic: "Jon Rafman's Selections from 9 Eyes of Google Street View.... culled unintentional portraits of people going ab...

August "Found Porn" Roundup

Another fine month of accidental (?) prurience courtesy of Rich Girl Red, Rachael, The Pirate Star, Chris, Frannie, Laura, Joy and Jody. Tim...

If Celebs Weren't Celebs, Vol. 3

More Photoshop fun from the now-defunct PlanetHiltron.com, a site that imagined celebrities as "normal people" -- which means maki...

Super Cool Thing Of The Day

My new book is here! From Amazon.com: "Back by popular demand, it's the mind-blowing follow-up to the bestselling 1,001 Facts Tha...

Classic Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Thank You, Vietnamese Waxer Lady

best of craigslist > los angeles > You Rule, Vietnamese Waxer Lady Date: 2006-03-15, 3:44PM PST My regular waxer was not availab...

"Removie" Posters Of The Day

Removies: movies with one letter removed. From the blog. More here.

The 20 Most Recognizable Scents In The World

According to a Yale University study cited by Salon.com and Crayola. Why Crayola? Because crayons made the list. Crayons made the list but n...

News: Man Fakes Own Death Before Proposing To Girlfriend

What a dick! And she said yes? From Gawker and Mighty Joe Stankowski. Before Proposing to Girlfriend, Man Fakes His Own Death to Show Her Ho...

The Most Cliché Photos On Instagram (Of The Day)

How many of these have you taken? From Mashable. BEACH FEET ON VACATION FOOD PORN CIRCLE OF SHOES SUNSET NAIL ART FLYING OVER TALL BUILDINGS...

People Who Don't Realize The Onion Is A Fake News Site

Holy shit, we're stoopid. From Pleated Jeans. See more here. .

Inspirational Clip Of The Day: Sloth

It's short but powerful(ly hilarious). Thanks, Rich Girl Red. .

Misheard Lyrics Of The Day

Another one from the archives. Some selections from The Archive Of Misheard Lyrics (KissThisGuy.com), a site that invites readers to send ...

News: Jovial Man Apparently Unaware That He Works At Airport Burrito Restaurant

From The Onion: Jovial Man Must Not Be Aware He Works At Airport Burrito Restaurant September 1, 2012DENVER—According to bewildered sources...

Product Of The Day: BIC Cristal For Her

So BIC has this pen that's made just for women, featuring an "elegant design" and "thin barrel to fit a woman's hand....

WTF? Twitter Pictures Of The Day

From Top On Day (huh?) and Molly's Mom. More here. .

The 7 Least Convincing Movie High Schoolers Of The Day (And Possibly Ever)

From CollegeHumor.com. There's a reason filmmakers rarely cast actual teenagers. Real adolescence is full of insecurity, change, sticki...

Facebook Fail Of The Day: Josh The Pirate

From Lamebook and Anastasia. .

Buy My New Book!

Available now. See links below. From Amazon.com: "Back by popular demand, the mind-blowing follow-up to the bestselling 1,001 Facts Th...

August Motivational Poster Roundup

They're funny because they're true. .

News: Man Breaks Penis During Sex, Sues Makers Of Boner Pill

Ouch. I expect a stiff penalty.  From Gawker and Hannah Nesbada. Texas Man Who 'Broke' His Penis During Sex Suing Makers of Boner P...

Memorable Movie Cougars Of The Day

From Maxim.com.Anne Bancroft - The GraduateMrs. Robinson was pretty effortless in her seduction of young Benjamin Braddock, and it's ea...

Band Logos Of The Day

I never really thought about how many bands have logos -- more than you realize (or more than I realized, at least).How many of these do yo...

On-Set Celebrity Feuds Of The Day

From The Frisky. Leonardo DiCaprio vs Claire Danes  (Romeo + Juliet) There was a rumor going around that Romeo and Juliet weren't so smi...

GIFs Of Cats Being Dicks (Of The Day)

From Heavy.com. (See more at Heavy) .

Beach Fashion Trend Of The Day

Not creepy at all. From NPR: In China, it's the height of the tourist season for Qingdao's famed beaches. But while many of the town...

The Saddest Photo You Will Ever See

Look at this poor bastard. I've been on this ride. It's depressing enough with a group. If I rode it alone I would probably leap ove...

Redneck Words Of Wisdom Of The Day

A few entries from RedneckWordsOfWisdom.com, a site that invites readers to submit their favorite redneck sayings. He'd bitch if you hun...

Celebrity Muppet Lookalikes Of The Day

One from the archives. Originally posted on TMZ.Gonzo & Adrien BrodySam The Eagle & Brad GarrettJanice & Donatella VersaceCrazy ...

The 10 Sexiest Movies Ever Made

Not a bad list, though I find a couple of their choices kinda "meh." What did they leave out? From Flavorwire: Good news for peopl...

7 Best Landmarks For Surviving A Zombie Attack (Of The Day)

It's coming. Are you ready? From Survival Goods. After the frantic fun of the initial onslaught, where you alleviate your frustrations w...

News: Nation's Sound Engineers Gather To Talk About Their Ponytails

It's funny because it's true. From The Onion. Nation's Sound Engineers Gather To Talk About Their Ponytails   AUSTIN, TX—Sound e...

WTF Tramp Stamps Of The Day

Putting the ass in class."She's like the village bicycle. Everyone's had a ride!"Look again. That's not a butterfly.He...

8 Things A Woman Doesn't Want To Be Wearing When She Unexpectedly Gets Laid

From The Frisky: It’s Murphy’s Law of unexpected sex: If you are wearing the most unfortunate/unflattering/complicated article of clothing, ...

Disturbing Stock Photos Of The Day

Hold me. Please. And one I like. Pics from Buzzfeed, Pleated Jeans, Fork Party, WTF Stock Photos and more. .

Drunken Shamings Of The Day, Vol. 5

We shamed the dogs. Might as well shame the humans. The lesson here? Choose your drinking buddies carefully.Flour PowerDon't run off, ok...

News Of The Day: LL Cool J Thwarts Intruder With Punch To The Face

I'm hearing Nelson Muntz's laugh. From Steve Henderson and NPR. LL Cool J: Rapper, Actor And Real Life Tough Guy : NPR  by Korva Col...

News: Mom Unaware That Note She Packed In Son's Lunch Is Getting Him Beaten Up Right Now

From The Onion. Mom Unaware Little Note She Packed With Son's Lunch Getting Him Beaten Up Right Now SUN VALLEY, ID—Dental hygienist and ...

Dog Shamings Of The Day

From the blog, Dogshaming. Link from Rachael. More at Dogshaming. .

News Of The Day: Day-Care Workers Busted For Forcing Toddlers To Fight

Are you f**king kidding me? From The Smoking Gun. Cops: Daycare Workers Forced Toddler Fight AUGUST 21--Three Delaware daycare workers face ...

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Satanic Sexual Ritual

best of craigslist > santa barbara > Satanic Sexual Ritual Date: 2009-06-18, 5:13PM PDT Looking for a woman with evil appetites....

They Can That? (Of The Day)

Food you didn't know could come from a can. And probably wish you didn't know now. From Mike St. Germain and Buzzfeed. Still hungry?...

11 Movie Aliens That Look Like Genitalia

Another one from the archives. And Maxim.com Clawbia Majora (Predator) With a combination labia-mouth like that, no wonder Arnie was chasin...

Dead Dumbass Of The Day: Fiery Protester

Karma 1, Leisner 0. From The Smoking Gun. Fiery Gay Marriage Opponent Who Torched Cheerios On General Mills Lawn Dies August 15, 2012 The ga...

Comedy Film Alphabet Poster Of The Day

Stephen Wildish does great stuff. At first glance I about half of these. Some are tough. There's no answer key so you're on your own...

Cheese People Of The Day 2

From the blog, Cheese People. And acid people, apparently. More here. .

News Of The Day: Co-Worker With Two Computer Screens Not F*cking Around

From The Onion. FORT WORTH, TX—Credible sources within your office reported Monday that the guy on the third floor with two computer screens...

Product Reviews Of The Day: Banana Slicer

I love clever people. Thanks for the link, Sheila Wolden. From Amazon. Excerpts from product reviews: * Once I figured out I had to peel the...

Love Your Eyebrows! (Of The Day)

An LOTD classic.Ms. HooksMr. FreezeConstance SurpriseBrowless BobItComedy & TragedyYou Must Pay The Rent! But I Can't Pay The Rent!J...

Fun With Albums (Of The Day)

From Mike Gentile, who sent me the link back in 2009. Oops. Thanks, Mike.   Via this site.

7 Things You Never Noticed In The Breakfast Club

Or you noticed and just forgot. Or you never noticed and didn't forget, since it's difficult to forget something you never noticed...

Rock Stars Then And Now

Getting old sucks--more for some than for others. With a couple of exceptions on both sides, the women seem to be faring better than the men...

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Horse Hotel

best of craigslist > austin > Horse in a hotel Date: 2012-08-09, 10:07AM CDT Hi. My friend would really like to meet the person who s...

Mo Farah Running Away From Things (Of The Day)

From gold medalist to internet meme, just like that. Thanks, Tara Banfill-Vickers, for the link. More here. .

Sponsor Pimpery Of The Day

I don't do this often but it's a necessary evil on a blog with almost no ads. Thanks for reading. On September 18, Indiana Jones fin...

Food On My Dog (Of The Day)

This is Tiger and she's a good sport. Her owner assures us that she gets to eat nearly everything she holds on her head. If it's som...

News: Family Pet Eating Like Country Isn't In Goddamn Recession

From The Onion. Family Pet Eating Like Country Isn't In Goddamn RecessionRICHMOND, IN—Apparently heedless of the dismal fiscal climate, ...

Sh*t My Kids Ruined (Of The Day)

These are funny because they are just too real. Children are so precious -- bless their destructive little hearts. (I'll spare you the...

9 Biggest Sharks Ever Caught (Of The Day)

In honor of Shark Week. From TotalProSports.com. Bull Shark 700 lbs/9 feet long St. Petersburg, FL 2007 Mako Shark 1,221 lbs Chatham, MA 200...

News: Drunk Iowa Driver's Blood Alcohol Level Was Eight Times Legal Limit

I'm posting this solely for the comment in paragraph five. From The Smoking Gun. Cops: Drunk Iowa Driver's Blood Alcohol Level Was N...

"Yo Momma" Jokes Of The Day

A great idea from Amy H. Yo momma so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her Yo momma so fat, she wakes up in sections Yo momma got a glass eye...

The People In An Olive Garden Commercial Share Their Existential Pain

By Rachel Klein, via McSweeny's Internet Tendency. We go to Olive Garden all the time because we have officially given up on life. We ma...

Make-a-Face Photoshops of the Day

From Daisy: When I was young, I remember playing with make-a-face blocks where various features were painted on the sides of blocks. You cou...

Vid Of The Day: Maniacal Laughs

How many do you know? Thanks, Rachael, for the link. .

Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity

It's Monday. We could all use a pick-us-up. From Buzzfeed. More at Buzzfeed..

Britney Spears GIFs of The Day

Random. More here. .

News: Increasing Number Of Social Lives Being Ruined By Alcoholics Anonymous

"I used to have a very good friend but he gave up drinking, now he won't answer the phone when I call screaming incoherently at 2 a...

LOTD Classic Of The Day: Unfortunate Gravestones

Mocked in life. Mocked in death.See yaWhat the.....?No, not OKSorry for your loss, LossYep, that'll kill yaThe death of FunkI hope that...

Troll Translator Of The Day

Politically incorrect amusement from E-Mails From An Asshole and Cajun Willie. Glorious Master Translator   Original ad: I need some...

Vid Of The Day: Celebs Read Nasty Tweets About Themselves

And cry. .

My Word Verifications Of The Day

A few captchas I saved from Facebook over the years. "No, Mr. Urinated, I do not have a pair of shorts you can borrow." "Oh m...

Son Of The Year Candidate (Of The Day)

If I'm the mom I'm waiting until this meatfuck passes out after his next bender, then taking a squat over his face and pinching off ...

35 Modern Words Recently Added To The Dictionary

Remember when dictionaries were particular about adding new words? I seem to recall it taking YEARS for the word ain't to get in. If you...

Nic Cage As Everyone (Of The Day)

From Zan and this blog. More here. .

Health Poster Of The Day: Celery

Probably not the best way to get people to eat it. .

The Most Unappetizing Food Photos On Instagram (Of The Day)

Trying to diet? This will help. From Buzzfeed.  NOTchos  Stouffer's lasagna. Cooked for fifty-eight hours instead of minutes. Dad never ...

Helpful Website Of The Day: 50 Shades Copy Generator

Yes, you too can write godawful pron at the push of a button (pun intended!). Start by clicking the pic below. .

The Top 25 Party Colleges Of The Day

Hot off the presses of Newsweek and The Daily Beast.  Their methodology:  "To compile the list of the best schools in the nation at whi...

Instructional Poster Of The Day: Doppelganger

Ah, okay. Good to know. Thank you, Cloe Oliver, for this helpful info. .

News Of The Day: Horrible Couple Really Wants Wedding To Reflect Their Insufferable Personalities

From The Onion. Horrible Couple Really Wants Wedding To Reflect Their Personalities CHICAGO—According to recently engaged and utterly smug s...

Embarrassing Prince Philip Quotes Of The Day

They say he suffers from foot-in-mouth disease, but I think he's a gifted comedian. Thanks, Woodwoman, for the link (The Mirror). After ...

Candidate Of The Day: Minge

I always vote for Minge. Always. And I want one of those window clings.

13 Creepy Dolls That Will Kill You In Your Sleep (Of The Day)

Not as creepy as clowns, but almost. She is very disappointed in you. Very. Mom? Where's my retainer? You are getting very sleepy. I mig...

July "Found Porn" Roundup

Spotted by people who have dirty minds, like Leisa, John, Rachel, Simon, Rich, Brooke, Paul, and Rachael. Lisa Simpson goes down on Bart? .

Amazon.com Listing of The Day: Veet Hair Removal Gel

Click the pic and read the comments. You will laugh. Thanks, Meglee. .

Craigslist Ad of The Day: Breastfeeding

From Hannah Nesbada and Regretsy. .

Final Shots Of The Day

Final shots from movies. Which movies? That's for you to figure out. There's no list of answers on the site. I only know about half ...

June-July Motivational Poster Roundup

So I kind of forget to do this last month. I'm sure no one even noticed. *Tap tap tap* Is this thing on? .

Olympic Moment Of The Day: Going for Gold

Another majestic Olympic moment captured by Evil Twin. .

13 Things Your Mother-in-Law Will Never Tell You

Not my usual kind of post but I saw this on Reader's Digest and thought, whoa, meow hiss! Then I thought about all the women that read L...

News: Dying Lion Doesn't Feel As Though He's Completing Some Great Cosmic Circle

From The Onion. Dying Lion Sure Doesn't Feel As Though He's Completing Some Great Cosmic Circle July 30, 2012 | ISSUE 48•31 THE SERE...

Sad, Embarrassed Etsy Boyfriends Of The Day

You made some goofy funked-up shit to sell on Etsy and now you need some sucker to model it. Cue the boyfriend. Sigh. The things men do for ...

Blistering CD Review Of The Day: No Stars Ever

Bitch got TOLD! Or, as HappyPlace says, "Critic does to Chris Brown what Chris Brown does to women." Me, I'm stealing the phra...